i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
