i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
