i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
