she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
