Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
