she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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