Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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