If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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