4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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