Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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