you thought your balls were fighting each other...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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