Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
