It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
