Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
