wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
