can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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