Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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