the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I party with great urgency now.
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