why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
