What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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