My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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