my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
