And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
