I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
