Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
