the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
