4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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