I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
