This is not my ceiling
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
