I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
