If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i think i just lost a toe
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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