cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
