I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
