Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
