We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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