And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
