I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
