I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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