we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
