Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
