He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
