I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
