Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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