that's an acceptable place to lick
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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