Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
