Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
