I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
