New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
