that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He better not be in your backpack
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
