Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
