If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
this boner is exhausting
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
