finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
